Sadly, There Is Nothing She Can Do.

After her first visit to the gross anatomy lab that went south, she came to the conclusion that she needs to do discussions with her colleagues. She walked into their room (the only guys and classmates shy and introverted her had managed to befriend).

After a while, he walked in. You know the ‘TDH‘ ladies are always talking about…? Yeah, that’s what or rather who walked in. Tall dark and handsome.

She sat there quiet and talking to no one (like a sheep waiting to go to the slaughter house) waiting for her classmates to get ready so they’d commence studying .

As they studied, she liked the interactions between her three classmates and the ‘tdh’ dude. She liked him, he was funny. Funny made her happy and calmed her nerves. They were introduced but she paid no attention. She had gruesome stuff that had her attention in a monopoly-like manner (Anatomy and the like…).

She got attached to them and would head to their room to steam off after long torturing lectures. They were the best company she had. In fact she loved each and everyone of them.

With subsequent visits, they got acquainted. She liked their English. In fact it wasn’t purely the English we know hahhha… It’s a mixture of English and Dholuo. In other words, Engluo😂. It striked a cord in her heart and she liked them even more as a result.

“I like you,” the tdh dude would joke. She would in return laugh it off.

“The boys in the university are out to ruin your life,” her aunt would tell her not once not twice but severally before she joined the university. “Don’t pay attention to their sweet words, ” she’d finish. Like a mantra, she remained devoted to this.

“They are also very dangerous, they can kill you.” So as much as she was to avoid them, she was to be friendly… You know, keep a safe distance. As such, she made sure to occasionally respond with a smile to random greetings on the corridors.

With all these in mind, there is no way she’d pay attention to ‘tdh’. To her he seemed like a playboy. Definitely out to mess her life.

“He’s just being friendly cause I’m in their room.” She’d think. “With all the beautiful ladies around here why the hell would he like me? He definitely is joking around.” She’d think again. “Or wait, he must be practicing his vibing skills on me, that must definitely be it.”

She’d for a split second feel nice about all he said to her before all the above thoughts flooded her head. He kept at it every time she was in their room. And she similarly kept at paying no attention to him.

The first year of her course was done and she moved to a different campus for the subsequent years. He remained. They met less. And less she heard from him. Whenever they’d meet he’d recapitulate the same stuff.

“This dude jokes a lot. Anyways, just ignore him,you got tougher stuff to pay attention to.” She’d think to herself.

The second year of her studies was like being between a hard surface and a rock. That said and done, if she paid no attention to him during the first year, the chances of her paying attention to him in the second year were nil.

In her 3rd year, they met once. She was heading home and he was coming to the gym in her campus. In a hurry they exchanged pleasantries as she headed to the bus stop.

With the corona pandemic, he kept in touch more consistently. A day wouldn’t pass without a word or two from him. In fact a word is an understatement, a whole conversation lasting over an hour.

Consistency is the key to success.Once in a while she’d attempt to believe that he maybe loved her. But then again that would be outweighed with thoughts like “He’s probably idle due to the corona pandemic that’s why he’s doing and saying all these.”

“He loves you.” Was the text that popped up in her chat box. This was from one of her classmates. He was referring to the tdh dude. “Where the hell is this coming from?” She asked. “He’s my boy, so I know.” Was all she got from him with regards to the same.

“He must have sent him to me,” she thought. But the friend claimed otherwise. Subsequently, tdh kept in touch much more often.She’s been tempted to believe his words. But then again, sadly enough there is nothing she can do about it even if he’s being true.

But she’s grateful. Grateful for the love. Grateful for the care and concern. Grateful that he tried. Grateful that he didn’t give up on her over the 3 year period. Grateful that he considered her. Grateful that he created some room in his heart for mere her.

Her hands are tied. She hopes he understands and loves her irregardless. Loves her, though she can’t reciprocate it in the manner he would have desired. For her hands are tied. Or rather her heart is closed off.